<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Puberty II by LemmyC0re</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28980252">Puberty II</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/LemmyC0re/pseuds/LemmyC0re'>LemmyC0re</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>South Park</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Counselor Christophe, Counselor Gregory, Counselor Pip, Everyone is gay ❤️, F/F, F/M, Forced self discovery, Founder Estella, Homophobia, I don’t hate Rebecca she was just a convenient antagonist, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Toxicity, self discovery</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 08:47:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>13,792</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28980252</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/LemmyC0re/pseuds/LemmyC0re</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyle Broflovski has been forced down a road to self discovery he never wanted to take. When he gets lost along the way, he must first find himself before anyone else can come find him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bebe Stevens/Wendy Testaburger, Christophe "The Mole"/Gregory of Yardale, Clyde Donovan/Kenny McCormick, Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak, Kyle Broflovski/Rebecca Cotswolds, Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh, Mentioned Token Black/Nichole Daniels, Phillip “Pip” Pirrup/Damien Thorne, Red/Heidi Turner</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. When she’d ask to hold hands</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Yoooo 😶<br/>I’m so sorry for the lack of content!!!! But I am.. hopefully back to posting. Unfortunately I will be breaking from For all the Reasons for a bit because I just don’t feel inspired!!!! But I will finish it, don’t worry.</p><p>Also TW: there is ONE F-slur in this chapter</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rebecca has the perfect boyfriend. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Well, Rebecca <em>has</em> a boyfriend. He’s sweet, respectful, handsome, intelligent.. <em>almost</em> perfect.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But he won’t kiss her. Every time she tries he chickens out, says it’s not the right time yet. Says he’s waiting for the perfect moment. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He won’t kiss her, much less do anything else with her. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">All of her friends are rounding the bases already, and she’s left in the dust because her stupid boyfriend won’t grow a pair and kiss her already! </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">But she has a good feeling about Friday. Kyle figured they hadn’t been spending enough time together recently because of their schedules, so he asked her if she wanted to go on a nice date Friday to make up for it.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rebecca is pretty sure that Friday is gonna be <em>the</em> night.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">_________________________________</span><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle has the perfect girlfriend. She’s beautiful, brainy, independent and headstrong. <em>Yes</em>, she’s a bit bossy, but everyone can get bossy sometimes, right? </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Though, she’s a little obsessed with the concept of kissing. She’s always trying to kiss him and he tells her he’s not ready. He just wants the moment to be right! </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There’s no need to rush love, is there? </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She always gets angry about it, but she’s back to normal by the next day. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He just needs everything to be perfect, is all. He’s pretty sure he’d feel it when it’s the perfect moment, that little tingle in his stomach and the itch to just lean in and kiss her. But he hasn’t felt it yet. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He will, though. Everyone does at some point.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">_________________________________</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And I swear, Annie N. totally did that on purpose. There’s no way she didn’t!” Rebecca tugs Kyle along through the hallway, rambling on about some drama between the girls. “Then Annie K. was completely drenched in pizza sauce and garlic butter!”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle stumbles over his feet a bit, trying his best to follow along with his girlfriend’s story. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She turns over her shoulder a bit.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kyle, could you at least <em>try</em> and keep up?” She scoffs.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sorry, Becks. But I can’t hold all of your stuff and hold onto your arm at the same time all while keeping my pace.” He adjusts the position of all her textbooks.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Learn to. If you can’t even carry a few books and walk with me at the same time, what good are you? I love you, Kyle.. I do. But sometimes you’re a lousy boyfriend..” she pouts. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She looks like she’s about to cry. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re right, Becks. I’m sorry, I’ll try.” He nudges her arm lightly the best he can, cheering her up.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her face brightens right away and she slips her arms back around Kyle’s elbow.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When they get outside Rebecca lets go of his arm, waving to a group of girls standing in the student parking lot. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She takes her books from Kyle. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ll pick you up in a little bit, give you some time to get ready.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alright! I’ll see you later, Kyle!” She looks super excited.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She turns on her heel and skips over to her friends, curls bouncing as she goes.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">_________________________________</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tonight is the night. Rebecca can finally start moving forward and actually growing up with all her friends. She’s been dating Kyle since the eighth grade, so for all these years she’s never been able to do anything remotely sexual. Now she can finally join the ranks! </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She brushes her teeth twice, taking the pins out of her hair. She wears her best dress, the sage green one that accentuates her curves and her bust. She uses the pretty pink lipgloss that Kyle got her for her birthday, spending extra time perfecting her makeup. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her mom lets her borrow one of her necklaces and a pair of heels.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She examines her efforts in the mirror, nodding and deciding “This is good.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She waits in her room until she hears Kyle’s car pull up into the driveway, not going down just yet, waiting even longer until she hears the...</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">Knock knock knock.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Showtime.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She hurries downstairs, rushing to answer the door before anyone else can. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey!” She swings the door open.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, Becca.” He hugs her, but she pulls back after two seconds.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She looks him up and down. He’s wearing a sweater tucked into slacks. It’s so.. simple.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Is that what you’re wearing?” She frowns.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle looks slightly taken aback. “Y.. uh, yeah. Is something wrong with it?” He looks down, tugging at the front of his sweater.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rebecca shakes her head. Nothing will spoil this night for her. Not even a half assed outfit. “No, it’s just fine. Hurry, let’s get going!” She snatches her coat off the coat hanger, shouting goodbye to her mom before slamming the front door shut and tugging Kyle down the porch steps to his car. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">_________________________________</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How is it?” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle took Rebecca to a Thai restaurant they hadn’t been to. It’s a bit pricey, but he thinks it’s worth the money. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s.. okay.. you didn’t want Italian or something?” She looks up from her plate of noodles, twisting them around her fork before dropping them back on the plate.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sorry.. is it not good? You can have mine.” He offers her a bite of his red chili chicken to see if she likes it better.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, Kyle.. it’s fine,” she rolls her eyes. “I just won’t eat.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He frowns, taking her hand from across the table. “C’mon, I don’t want you to starve tonight. You.. you can order something else if you don’t like what you have, I’ll pay for it.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s gonna hurt his savings pretty good, but he doesn’t want his girlfriend to be sad <em>and</em> hungry.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“...Okay.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle signals a waiter to bring her another menu and take her original order back. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Let me try what you have real quick.” She leans over the table. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He stabs his fork into a piece of chicken and feeds it to her. Her face lights up a bit.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I want that.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The waiter nods, taking her menu back.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With Rebecca happy and fed, Kyle takes her to walk off some of the food they just ate.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They walk hand in hand, Rebecca telling him a story and him following along as best he can. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They walk all the way to the park and go to stand under the large oak tree. The leaves blow in the wind, creating a light rustling sound. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The only light they have is the moon, stars, and the faint light of street lamps casting an orange glow on their faces.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Rebecca turns to face him fully, clutching both of his hands gently in hers. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She smiles up at him, the wind tussling both of their curls. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It was a nice little moment between the two of them. That is, until Rebecca stood up on her tiptoes and started inching closer, closer, <em>closer</em>...</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle flinches, pulling back and dropping her hands. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A look of utter shock spills down her face.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What’s wrong?” She says. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nothing! It’s just not the right time. It needs to be perfect, that’s all!” He tries to hold her hand again, but she draws it back, delivering a crisp backhand to his face. There’s enough force to toss his head to the side. His ear rings and he turns back to face her, tears dripping down her face.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How perfect can it <em>get!?</em> You’re so high maintenance!” She stamps her foot.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His eyes widen. “Becks-“</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What is it!? Why can’t you just man up and kiss me already!? I’ve had it!” She takes a step toward him and he steps backward in time with her. “I’ve been patient with you! I spent so much time getting ready today only for you to chicken out again!”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Her voice is shrill and angry. Her mascara and eyeliner pool together and drip down her face.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“All my friends are moving on already, have moved on for years even! And I’m being left behind! All!” She shoves him back. “Because!” Another harsh shove. <em>“Of you!”</em> She shoves him a final time with enough force to knock him off his feet.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Am I ugly or something?” She clenches her fists. He fears she may punch him or something.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No! Rebecca, you’re beautiful! It’s just not the r-“ </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Not the right time! Not the right time. That’s all I ever hear! I still look like a little kid and it’s all <em>your</em> fault.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Becks, I’m sorry! I’m just not ready! I just wanted it to be perfect!” He holds his hands up in defense, not daring to actually stand back up.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Is the moment not perfect, or is it just me? I’m ugly, aren’t I?” She sobs.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No y-“</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Admit it! You think I’m ugly! <em>Say it!”</em> She all but snarls.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You <em>want</em> me to say you’re ugly?” He furrows his eyebrows in confusion.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>“Yes!</em> Because if I’m not ugly, then that means there’s someone else! Is there someone else?” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle gasps. How could she think he’d ever do that to her? </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, there’s nobody else, I swear!” He attempts to console her. The dew from the grass is soaking into his pants now.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well then what is it?” She stamps her foot again. “If I’m not ugly or a fucking side bitch, what is it? Are you a faggot or something?” She spits.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What? No!”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Then why are you too pussy to kiss me?” Her expression is cold. She’s furious with him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Rebecca, I love you..” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s all he can say. That’s the only thing he has. He doesn’t know the answer to her question if the one he already gave wasn’t correct.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Then prove it.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Prove it. Kiss me right now.” She pulls her dress up a bit and sits on her knees in front of him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She waits, leaning forward expectedly. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They sit in silence, the wind blowing through their hair.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Rebecca..”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She starts crying again. “I’m going home.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, hey. If you’re gonna leave, at least let me drive you!” He tries to stop her.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Fuck off, Kyle!”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She stomps off, leaving him standing there all alone, wondering what the fuck just happened.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Somebody please tell me no</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Another one 😼<br/>It’s a little shorter but that’s ok</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Rebecca wasn’t at school the next Monday. Kyle feels terrible. He upset her so much she couldn’t even come to school. He should’ve just kissed her. If it would make her happy, it doesn’t matter whether his first kiss is important to him. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">All day her friends were scowling at him and whispering to one another. </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“I feel.. bad. I dunno.” He shrugs.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“I’m sure she’ll cool down eventually. She always does.” Token reassures him.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">While it is true, she always is better the next day, she was furious last night. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Yeah, but.. she seemed so mad..”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Is that why she hit you?” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Kyle chokes on his drink. “I didn’t say she-“</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Well, I’m assuming. Based on what you’re telling me and the nasty bruise on your face. That, or.. you pressed a vacuum to your cheek.” He shrugs.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Kyle chews the inside of his cheek. “I hope she’s okay.. I seem to have really upset her this time.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Trust me, whenever Nichole is mad at me, I just tell her what she wants to hear.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“But I don’t <em>know</em> what she wants to hear! She asked me if she was ugly and got mad when I said she wasn’t.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Yeah, Rebecca has always been difficult.. but you’ll figure it out. You always do.” He pats him on the back. “I gotta go now, Nichole has cheer practice and asked me to watch.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Kyle sighs, waving goodbye. Token and Nichole have such a perfect relationship. They’re practically a fairytale. Like a princess and her knight in shining armor. He just wishes he could be a knight for Rebecca.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He decides he’ll apologize after school, go home and get changed and head over to her place.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He pulls into the driveway, exiting his car and mumbling under his breath. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have backed away, I’ll be ready if you want me to be.. I love you.. uh..” he rehearses the rest in his head while walking up the porch steps. He unlocks the door, walking in and freezing in place.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He sees his parents sitting on the loveseat with their hands clasped together, his brother slouched in the arm chair looking confused, and.. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Rebecca crying with one leg crossed over the other.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Becks..?” He blinks.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“I had to.. it’s for your own good..” she sobs.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Becky? Wh..what did you do?” He turns to his parents, his mom bursting into tears.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Mom?”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Bubbie.. Rebecca told us everything.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Everything? What are you talking about?” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He sits down on the couch next to Rebecca. His father clears his throat. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Son.. ah. We know about your.. <em>homosexual tendencies</em>.” Rebecca sobs harder next to him. “It’s okay, Rebecca. You did the right thing telling us.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <em> <span class="s2">“What!?” </span> </em>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Kyle’s head practically spins, processing the information. “I’m not gay.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Kyle, it’ll hurt even more if you lie to us,” his mom waddles over to the couch to sit next to him and take his hand. “We talked a bit.. and we think it’s best you go away for a little while.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Go away? Where?” His voice trembles.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“A.. camp. To help fix you. It’ll fix you right up, don’t worry. And you’ll be back home in no time.” She rubs his back.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He gasps when he realizes what she means.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Conversion camp?”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">His father nods. “It’ll be good for you, Kyle. Help get these.. these <em>thoughts</em> out of your head.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“But I’m not gay! Tell them, Becks!” He turns to his girlfriend for support.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Kyle.. <em>I saw you</em>.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Saw me what?” He raises his eyebrow.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“I saw you kissing Gary Harrison!“ she breaks into a fit of sobs. “I didn’t wanna believe it, but.. it explains everything! Why you’re so inadequate as a boyfriend.. why you never want to kiss me!” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">What the hell is she talking about? He never kissed anyone, much less another boy! He’s not.. <em>like</em> that! </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He stands from his seat. “I never kissed Gary! What are you on about?” </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Kyle, listen. I know this is scary, but you don’t have to take it out on Rebecca! Especially when she’s been nothing but sweet to you!” His mother stands and hugs him, his father joining her. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“But I’m not gay, you have to believe me! Becca, I don’t know what you saw, but I never- I-“ </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Calm down, son. It’ll be okay once you’re better.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Ike?” he tries his best to turn and look at his brother with his parents squeezing him.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He just shrugs. When Kyle faces forward again he realizes what happened. It’s the look on her face that gives it away.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Rebecca’s cold stare bores into him. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">She set him up. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <em> <span class="s2">His girlfriend set him up.</span> </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Do tell me what you think! I love comments so much</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. We do have reputations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I’m having fun with this one!<br/>I hope you all enjoy it as much as I do.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’ll be good for you, bubbah. You need this.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle’s mom turns to face him from the front seat. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t need conversion therapy because there’s nothing to convert! I’m straight.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Now, Kyle. Why would Rebecca lie?” His father says, making eye contact with him in the mirror. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Because she- I- she was mad I wouldn’t kiss her or something?” He suggests.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kyle, don’t make stuff up about Rebecca. She just wants to help you so you can be <em>normal</em> again. Don’t you wanna be normal, bubbie?” His mother tries to reach back and hold his hand but he yanks it out of the way.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I <em>am</em> normal!”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“This whole process would be easier if you admit it to us. The faster you admit it, the faster you get help, and the faster you come home. We want you <em>home</em>, Kyle.” She sighs.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Then why would you send me to some gay camp in Denver!” He grits his teeth.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“To help you, Kyle. Now, this conversation is over. We’re almost there anyway.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He huffs, slouching back in his seat. He chews the inside of his cheek. He can’t believe Rebecca. How could she do something like this? </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He tried so hard to be a good boyfriend for her. He loved her. For years, he loved her. He still loves her! </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And now he’s going to some stupid camp and it’s her fault.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They pull up to some walled off area. There’s a large iron gate with the words <em>‘Havisham Conversion’</em> across the top and<em> ‘Ad esse normalis’</em> underneath it.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Go grab your suitcase, Kyle.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He sighs, getting out of the car and making it a point to slam the door. His dad pops the trunk and he grabs his bag out of it, pulling the handle out and dragging it behind them. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He follows his mom and dad up to the gate which opens with a loud creak. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Behind the brick wall is a brightly colored building with a few more buildings behind it. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A petite blonde boy is on the porch deck of the front building. He skips down the steps and up to Kyle and his parents.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are you here for Miss Havisham?” He chirps, hands folded politely. He has a high pitched voice and a posh accent. “Right this way!” He turns on his heel, gesturing for the three of them to follow.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They enter the building. It looks like a therapists lobby almost. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The wallpaper is a coral pink color and the floors are oak wood. All the decorations are either brown, white, or sage.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The blonde boy leads them to a dark chocolate colored door, knocking three times.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Come in!” A female voice calls from inside, with the same English accent as the blonde.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The door opens and Kyle and his mom step inside, but his father chooses to wait.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A woman with blonde hair pulled back into a tight ponytail in a green suit jacket and matching pencil skirt stands in front of the desk. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Mrs. Havisham?” Kyle’s mother inquires.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Miss,” she corrects. “And please, call me Estella.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Right, Estella.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sit.” She gestures to the two coffee brown arm chairs in front of the desk, moving behind it to sit in her own chair. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle and his mother sit down, Sheila crossing her legs politely and Kyle slouching. She swats his arm and he sighs, sitting up straight. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What’s your name?” Estella folds her hands over the desk.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kyle.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Welcome, Kyle. Tell me.. what is it that you think you are?” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wrongfully convicted.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She hums in thought, pulling out a notepad and taking notes with a ballpoint pen.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I can’t help you if I don’t know what you’ve convinced yourself that you are, Kyle. I need to give you proper treatment.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m not anything. I like girls.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His mother places a hand on his arm to quiet him. “He’s a.. <em>homosexual</em>,” she whispers. “His girlfriend said he’s been kissing other men.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle groans in frustration. This is all bullshit. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I see. And Kyle, when did you first start feeling homosexual urges?” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t!” He argues.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She turns to Sheila again. “Perhaps he’d feel more comfortable if his mother weren’t present.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She seems reluctant, but nods. “Of course.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She kisses his cheek before exiting the room. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kyle, I’ll ask you again. How long have you been a homosexual?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m really not one, I swear. This whole thing is a mistake!” He spits.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Estella takes more notes.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She places her notepad down and holds her hand out. “Take my hand, Kyle.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He doesn’t, but it doesn’t seem like she’s gonna put it away or continue until he does so he places his hand awkwardly in hers.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We want to help you here at Havisham. I understand that you’re in denial, but the first step to getting better is to admit it out loud. Then you begin to heal. Don’t you want to heal, Kyle?” She squeezes his hand. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“There’s nothing to heal because <em>I’m</em>. <em>Not. Gay.”</em> He hisses.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">She frowns, eyebrows pinching. She sighs, sitting back and letting go of his hand.</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’ll try again in group therapy.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Group therap-“</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Let’s go see your parents off, shall we?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, Bubbie! We’ll miss you very much!” His mother squeezes him.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Then how about, don’t send me away?” He rolls his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kyle, we want you home with us, but we want you home better. We can’t have our son thinking he’s.. a h- a..” she drops her voice down. “<em>Homosexual.”</em> </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, god.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t you worry about a thing, Mrs. Broflovski. We’ll take good care of your son. We’ll have him as straight as a board. Havisham’s honor.” Estella places her hands on Kyle’s shoulders. He tenses up.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Goodbye, Bubbie.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Goodbye, Kyle.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He sighs. It weighs down on him. This is actually happening. His girlfriend actually lied to his parents and he’s actually getting sent to conversion camp.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sure. Bye.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He watches his parents walk out of the iron gate which screeches closed.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Come with me, Kyle. We have some long overdue repairs to make on your mind.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Estella shows him around the first building, the one they went in first. There’s a library with either religious or erotic heterosexual literature, a dining hall, the room where therapy sessions are held, Estella’s bedroom (not to be entered) and then the buildings outside are the boys’, girls’, and counselors’ dorms.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There’s a courtyard and a lake, very standard camp stuff. Except they’re gonna drill heterosexuality into his head.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Outside the boys’ dorms sits a tall, curly haired blonde boy with a slim waist wearing a uniform with the camp slogan on it. He unrolls his tube socks, pulling them up his shins.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Gregory?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, auntie?” He has the exact same accent as her and the boy from before.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“This is Kyle. Show him around, would you?” She pats Kyle on the back, pretty much shoving him forward. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, ma’am.” He pulls Kyle by his sleeve and into the building. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s very.. blue.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Blue is a masculine color, my friend. It’s important to surround ourselves with masculinity in order to embrace it and remember our roots.” Gregory explains, hips swaying as he walks. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The wallpaper is blue and the decorations are different shades of blue. There’s portraits of sports players and a few portraits of popes. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">When he first walks in, it’s pretty much like a blueberry flavored living room.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“In there is the bathroom and showers.” Gregory points to a white door. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He leads Kyle to another white door, opening it this time to show him in. “And here is the bedroom.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The bedroom is a standard room with a large square layout, one big window with silky, blue curtains, and beds with blue covers lined up on the walls. There’s a boy already inside. A tall, freckled blonde.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kenny. Where are all the other boys?” Gregory asks.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The lake, I believe. Though, Craig may still be in the shower.” His eyes flicker to Kyle. “New kid?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yes, this is Kyle. I brought him here to get settled. By the time he’s finished, it should be time for group therapy if you don’t mind waiting to show him there.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No problem!” Kenny grins. He’s got a tooth missing on the top row.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He looks approachable and friendly.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Gregory exits the room, leaving Kyle to unpack. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The few beds with stuff on em are obviously taken, but the ones without are fair game.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Cool, thanks.” Kyle hauls his suitcase onto the nearest empty bed, unzipping it.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So,” Kenny sits cross legged on one of the beds, grabbing a red letterman off it and tugging it into his lap. “How’d you get busted?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Busted?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How’d you get caught? Did you come out? Did they catch you in the act?” Kenny leans forward.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh no, I’m not.. I’m not like you.” He explains.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, you’re here for a reason.” He shrugs. “I got caught swappin spit with some cute lil blonde.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m not gay, okay? My.. my girlfriend lied to my parents because I wouldn’t kiss her.” He scoffs.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Damn, that’s fucked. Was she toxic before then?” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No? I don’t.. I don’t think? Whatever. Can’t reverse it now, she already did it.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sounds like a bitch.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“She’s not! She was just.. upset.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“If you say so. I’m kinda shocked honestly.” He rubs his cheek into the letterman jacket. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What about?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That you’re straight. You give off a vibe.” He shrugs.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What do you-“</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh! Group therapy.” He tosses the letterman onto the mattress. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kenny hops down off the bed and gestures for Kyle to follow him, rushing out the door.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This camp is gonna be a baby blue and pink colored nightmare.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>People have actually talked to me like Estella before and it is so annoying 😼<br/>Next chapter you will meet more characters!<br/>Leave Kudos, it lets me know you enjoy my writing!<br/>And if you want, please comment and tell me what you think ❤️</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Smile and let one of his hands go</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The next chapter is already halfway done!</p>
<p>Please comment I will propose to you ❤️</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kenny leads him up the steps to the front building, tugging him down the hall to the group therapy room. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone else is already inside. There’s two empty chairs which Kenny and Kyle take for themselves.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alright,” Estella crosses one leg over the other, placing her notepad in her lap. “Today will be a bit slower, we’re doing things a bit differently to accommodate to our newcomer.” She gestures to Kyle. “Shall we get started with introductions?” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone either nods or makes a noise of agreement.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kyle, you start.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Uh. Hi.. I’m Kyle.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There’s a chorus of a monotonous<em> ‘hi Kyle.’</em></span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hi, I’m Kenny.” Kenny says next to him, which he obviously already knows because they’ve met.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Next to Kenny is a tall, skinny red headed girl. “Hi, I’m Red.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Red looks like she’d be one of those cool girl stereotypes you’d see on TV.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hi, I’m Wend-<em>yyy</em>..” a black haired girl next to Red says, drawing out the last syllable slowly. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Wendy is a pretty girl. Her inky hair spills down to her waist, almost.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Next to Wendy is a brunette boy. Kyle winces when he opens his mouth. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m Clyde.” His voice is loud and obnoxious.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m Bebe.” The pretty blonde girl with curly hair is the first one to lift her hand and wave at him. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She doesn’t... <em>look</em> like a lesbian? She seems like she’d be dating guys left and right, especially with a face like hers. He guesses there’s no specific ‘look’ to homosexuality, just stereotypes.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I-“ the next boy is small with blonde, scraggly hair. Bebe places her hand on his back, rubbing up and down. “I’m Tweek.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle cocks his head to the side. Tweek? Tweek seems a bit anxious, but anyone would be at gay conversion camp. It looks like he and Bebe are pretty close.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The next girl is short with brown hair and a kind face. She’s got the slightest bit of baby fat on her. “I’m Heidi.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Heidi seems sweet and kind. Her voice is soothing to listen to. It reminds him of Rebecca’s when she’s not yelling.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The next guy is a bit intimidating. He’s got pasty white skin and shaggy black hair, his eyebrows downturned in a permanent scowl. “Damien.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle wrings his hands together nervously. He makes it a mental note not to piss him off. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m Craig.” A tall, lanky boy with damp black hair and tanned skin nods. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle remembers Kenny briefly mentioning that Craig was showering earlier. He’s not sure why that’s important, but it’s logged in his head.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The only way Kyle could describe Craig would be... extremely unbothered.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And finally, another boy with black hair and blue eyes. Not as blue as Craig’s or Tweek’s, which are.. strikingly blue, but a subtle blue. A nice blue. Like pool water.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m Stan.” He lifts his hand in a wave. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Before Kyle can get a good look at him, Estella cuts through his thoughts.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“And our counselors, who are actually reformed homosexuals themselves! Converted right here in Havisham!” She announces proudly. “You’ve met Gregory.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Gregory waves from his spot outside the circle of coral pink, metal folding chairs. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Next to him is the little blonde from when he first got here. “I’m Pip!” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With as small as Pip is, he looks almost like a Boy Scout in the counselor uniform, what with the blue polo shirt, teal short shorts and tube socks.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m Christophe.” Instead of a British accent like Estella and the other two counselors, Christophe sounds French.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He looks like he plays in mud. He’s not particularly dirty, but if Estella would let him he’s pretty sure he’d roll around on the ground. It’s kind of funny seeing such a gruff looking man in a cute little outfit like that. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Very good! Shall we begin?” Estella looks around the room. Not getting any sort of physical or verbal response, she continues on her own. “Okay! I’m afraid we have a little setback today. Our newcomer is having some trouble admitting that he is a <em>homosexual</em>.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle can’t help but roll his eyes. It sounds so pretentious when they keep repeating the word ‘homosexual.’ Why can’t she just say ‘gay’? </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“In order to begin your treatment, you need to first admit to us and yourself that.. you are a homosexual.” She smiles at him. “Everyone, show Kyle how easy and freeing it is to finally admit that you’re an abomination before God.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This woman is crazy.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone in the room says at the same time: </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m a homosexual.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kenny leans over to whisper to him. “Remember, the faster this is over, the faster you go home.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle sighs, squeezing his eyes shut. “I’m- <em>I’m a homosexual.”</em> He grits his teeth.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Estella cheers, clapping her hands. The counselors join in and soon everyone is clapping. All he did was say he’s gay?</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Excellent!” Estella exclaims. “Now, tell us about how you first started lusting after boys.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Group therapy was a nightmare. It was just a bunch of people talking about how gay they are and how they’re sad about it. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He sighs. Before dinner is a free period where people can go and do whatever they damn well please. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle chooses to head back to the dorms.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He sits down on his bed, sighing. He just needed to get away from everything for a little while. He tries to enjoy the silence, but the door swings open. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s.. Stan, was it?</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, Little Red.” Kyle raises his eyebrow. Since when are they close enough for nicknames? “What are you doin’ in here? It’s time for introductions!”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle stands slowly from his bed. “We just.. did introductions.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I mean the <em>real</em> introductions. Everyone’s waiting in the courtyard, they’re dying to officially meet you! Come on.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He rushes over to Kyle, practically dragging him out of the room and to the courtyard. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone’s sitting at the picnic benches. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Stan lifts up his and Kyle’s joint hands like a victory symbol. Everyone cheers loudly, beckoning them to hurry up.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He tugs him over to the benches. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone’s demeanors have totally shifted. They’re less awkward and stiff than they were in therapy.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wait a minute,” Stan starts. “Where’s-“</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Right here! So sorry!” Wendy rushes over to the tables, panting. “Estella held me back a minute.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wendy, right?” Kyle holds his hand out to her. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wendall, actually,” Kyle raises his eyebrows. “I’m non-binary.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh.. are you allowed to do that?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What do you mean?” They giggle.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“This camp is supposed to.. to fix you guys. Right?” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone bursts into laughter. He raises his eyebrows.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Look, Little Red. We can’t be fixed. We didn’t choose the way we are, so we can’t choose to change it. And we especially can’t force change,” Stan shrugs. “That’s just how it is.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Then.. why are we here?” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“They think they can ‘fix’ us Kyle.. but the fact of the matter is, they can’t,” Red shrugs. “You can’t fix what was never broken.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t understand.. it doesn’t work? But what about the counselors? Estella said-“</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh <em>please!</em>” Wendall cackles. “The counselors aren’t reformed. They’re still gay as ever!”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Heidi stands up from the bench. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You see, Kyle. The treatment from Estella doesn’t work, but the treatment we give each other <em>does</em>.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What are you saying?” This is all one big confusing mess.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’re all just one big fucked up family, dude,” Craig shrugs, pulling tangles out of Tweek’s hair. “When we’re not being ‘treated’ by Estella, we’re sticking together.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We teach one another how to pretend,” Tweek continues for him. “We may not be able to <em>change</em>, but we sure can fake it.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone nods in agreement. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We can’t be fixed with fucked up therapy sessions.. nothing will make us any less <em>us</em>.” Bebe stands from the bench to take Wendall’s hand. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So.. you’re all just faking it?” He asks.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, yeah,” Clyde shrugs. “Weren’t you?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No. I’m really not gay.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone giggles, but it dies down when they realize he’s not joking.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why the fuck are you here then?” Damien asks.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“My girlfriend. She was upset I wouldn’t kiss her so she lied to my parents. I’m straight.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh.. well, straight or not,” Heidi wraps her arms around him. “Welcome to the family, Kyle.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone gathers around to give him a welcoming hug. Except Damien who’s dragged in by Kenny.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They all squeeze him tightly. Someone smells strongly of coffee, but other than that.. the hug is super nice.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s the most welcomed he’s felt since he got here.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This might be easier than he thought. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I think this is going well so far!<br/>I’m trying to work on my storytelling better because I’m only good with concepts. Like I can map out an entire story but filling in the little bits and pieces is so difficult for me.<br/>Please do comment though ❤️❤️ Kudos are also appreciated</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. I am the fire and I am the forest, and I am a witness watching it</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TW: this chapter contains some sensitive topics and depictions of conversion therapy. </p><p>Leave a comment and let me know what you think ❤️</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After dinner, they say goodnight to the girls and the counselors before making their way to the boys’ dorms. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone scrambles to grab the first showers and get to bed. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle watches Craig pick Tweek up and swing him around, peppering his face with kisses.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Craig, stop! You know I get dizzy!” He giggles.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle finds himself smiling at the sight. They seem like.. a really sweet couple. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah?” Craig chuckles, tackling him onto one of the beds and tickling him. “Hey, honey?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What?” Tweek giggles.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sucks to suck.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>“Wh-!”</em> Tweek squawks as Craig hastily grabs his things and rushes out the door to the bathrooms.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey! You dirty cheater! You already had your shower!” He sprints after him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle assumes that Craig got to the shower first after hearing Tweek’s loud, irritated groan.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“They always like that?” Kyle asks Stan, who’s wrapping all his hygiene products in his towel for when he has to shower.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah. They’re so obsessed with each other, it’s sickening.” He chuckles.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle looks around the room at all the portraits of sports players. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do they really think that putting a bunch of pictures of sweaty men in here will make you guys less gay?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Stan cackles, along with the other few guys in the room who heard him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Estella’s got this whole thing about us ‘remembering our roots.’ She thinks if she exposes us to things like sports and the color blue, we’ll start to slowly become straight again.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t tell her to take em’ down, though. They’re excellent jack off material.” Kenny says, pumping his fist in an obscene motion.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone cackles, Stan tossing a pillow at him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tweek storms into the room, aggravated that Craig took the last open shower. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Clyde comes back, towel draped around his shoulders. “Shower’s free.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tweek immediately darts toward the door, but Kenny grabs him by the shoulder and shoves him backward, Tweek hitting the ground with a thud. By the time he realizes what happened, Kenny is long gone. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“God damn it! <em>Asshole!</em>” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone laughs.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em> <span class="s1">“Quit laughing!” </span> </em>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Red squeezes the water out of her hair, scrubbing it with the towel.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The girls and Wendall, unlike the boys, never have to fight over the showers since there’s only four of them. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The girls’ dorm is pretty much the same as the boys’, but everything is pink instead of blue and there’s portraits of models and female singers. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yo, Wends. Can I borrow your hair dryer?” Red unfortunately forgot her own, and Heidi and Bebe are showering and she doesn’t wanna use their stuff without permission.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yup.” Wendall points to the vanity. There’s only one, which is hardly big enough for all their clutter.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She crosses the room, switching on the hair dryer and combing her fingers through her damp hair. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The door opens and in walks Heidi, towel wrapped firmly around herself.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I forgot my pajamas in here.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Red watches her from the mirror, scurrying as fast as she can to grab her stuff so she can change in private. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">As soon as the door shuts, Wendall clears their throat.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I saw that, Red.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"> “Red, admitting it is the first step to healing.” They say in a mock British voice.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Red cackles, setting the hair dryer down and brushing her hair.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>“I’m a homosexual!</em>” She says in a fake, distraught voice.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The two of them giggle.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What’s so funny?” Heidi steps into the room, now wearing her tea green nightgown.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nothin, Heids. Just mocking Estella.” Red assures her. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh.” she giggles. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Bebe walks into the room behind her, hair piled into a bun, adjusting her silk nightgown to accommodate her chest.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s about time you got out of the shower.” Wendall teases.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey! I can’t wash these curls <em>and</em> my skin in fifteen minutes!” She argues.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Heidi turns to fluff her pillow. Wendall lifts their eyebrow at Red, nodding to her.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Red rolls her eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You guys okay with me turning the lights out?” Bebe asks, finger on the switch.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Go ahead.” Red nods. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She cuts the lights, carefully walking in the dark to her bed so she doesn’t trip.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She leans down to peck Wendall on the lips. “Night, Wends.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Night, Bebe.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">She crawls into her own bed, slipping under the covers.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Night everyone.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Goodnight.” They all say at the same time. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle cuts into his waffle, stuffing it into his mouth. He moans in delight. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Damn. Homophobic waffles are good as shit.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone cackles, Kenny slapping his knee. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We gotta hand it to Pip. He’s a great cook.” Heidi says.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Pip made this?” Kyle says in astonishment. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What about me?” Speak of the devil. Or in this case, small blonde angel.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kyle was just saying you’re an excellent cook!” Wendall says.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“<em>Oh!</em>” Pip blushes a deep crimson. “Well, that’s very kind of you! Estella wasn’t gonna let me cook, said that’s a woman’s job, but she’s not very good in the kitchen and nobody could eat the microwaveable stuff she bought because it tasted like clay. She herself couldn’t even eat it!” He twiddles his fingers.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s very good.” Kyle compliments him and everyone nods along. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Pip nervously brushes his fingers through his hair. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Estella walks into the room. She’s wearing a long, pink robe with a fluffy trim and slippers. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hope you’re all wide awake this morning! We’ve got a big day ahead of us, so finish your breakfast quick. Don’t dawdle!” She exits the room promptly, robe swaying as she turns.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle really hoped he could savor the meal, but he’s pretty sure he’d get in trouble if he was late.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With that, everyone digs in to their food.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The group lines up outside the front building and says the pledge of allegiance with Estella and the counselors leading.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Then, Estella says: “Ad esse normalis!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone repeats the phrase back to her and then the groups split, the girls and Wendall going with Estella and the boys going with Christophe.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle pants, his thighs starting to burn. Christophe has them jogging in place. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">A sharp whistle sounds, causing the boys to flinch.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Donovan! High knees!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Tucker! Faster!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Thorne! You can’t just stand there!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">One after another, he barks harsh orders at the group of them.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do we have to do this every morning?” Kyle pants.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No,” Stan assures him. He’s about to be relieved before Stan continues. “Sometimes we have to run around the field.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle groans.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Don’t worry though, we won’t always be lead by Christophe. The counselors take turns. Gregory is more lenient, and we might as well be reciting the alphabet with Pip.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That makes him feel a little better. “What’s the point of this anyway?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“To build our strength. A man must be-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“A man must be <em>strong!</em> A man must be <em>durable!</em> A man must be <em>diligent!</em>” Christophe unknowingly finishes for him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Do the girls have to do this?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nope. The girls and Wends get way easier stuff like ironing and cleaning.” Stan rolls his eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Lucky.” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Christophe makes them do all sorts of activities to ‘make them men again.’</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s apparently called realignment. After all that is said and done, Pip sits them down in the library and explains to them that they have a sickness, but not to worry because here at Havisham they will be cured. He tells them about the ‘wonders of heterosexuality’ and how beautiful and most importantly, <em>natural</em> it is. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Now,” Pip says, picking up a book with a marked page. “I will read to you a chapter of heterosexual erotica.”</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And finally, before lunch, and probably the worst treatment they’ve gotten yet. They’re sat down in the group therapy room, except all the chairs are lined up and facing the wall and there’s a projector set up. Once everyone is seated, Gregory flips the lights off. He rolls a cart around the room, handing everyone two small plastic cups. One filled with water, and the other with a small pill. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What’s this?” Kyle whispers.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s.. nausea inducing medication.” Kenny answers.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Is this even legal?” Kyle whisper shouts.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It shouldn’t be..” Tweek says sadly. Craig subtly knocks his knee against Tweek’s.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone swallows their pills and Gregory proceeds to show them a slideshow.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Each slide contains either an erotic photograph of a man, or photographs of two men engaging in homosexuality. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With each slide Kyle’s stomach starts to churn more and more. He can feel it doing flips. He glances around the room and sees all the other boys having similar reactions. Gregory taps him on the shoulder and makes him focus on the slideshow. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It only takes a few more slides before Damien is standing up, chair clattering to the floor and rushing out of the room with his hand over his mouth. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Later, Kenny explains that he has the weakest stomach out of the bunch.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After their.. therapy is over, they’re given an hour of free time before lunch so they don’t throw up what they ate.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone is slightly unsettled, including the girls and Wendall after the treatment. Kyle assumes the girls have to get it too.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">According to Stan, it’s always like this afterward because everybody feels sick and disturbed. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle looks over at Heidi, whose eyes are bloodshot. Red rubs her back. Every now and then, Damien will cough.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Homo or not, nobody should ever have to go through stuff like that.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s sickening.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Luckily, by lunch, everyone is lightening up a little. After lunch they have workshops in the courtyard where the boys and girls (plus Wendall) alternate between physical exercises and learning exercises.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Excellent work today, everyone!” Estella claps her hands together. “Go change out of your sweaty clothing and meet back up for group therapy!” </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The boys change in their rooms. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle turns to Stan who’s shrugging his shirt off. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, Stan?” He says, trying not to stare too much. “Do we have to that.. that medication thing everyday?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Stan sighs, stepping out of his shorts. “Unfortunately, yeah.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s torture! All of it is!” He exclaims.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s just what we have to deal with, dude.” Clyde shrugs, but he’s clearly sad.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kenny leans over to press a kiss to his bare shoulder, hugging him from behind.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s terrible..”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Some camps are worse. We got lucky in my opinion,” Craig shrugs. “I hear some people have been given lobotomies.” He says, causing Tweek (and everyone else) to shudder.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">None of this sits right with Kyle. He doesn’t know why it never unsettled him before, the fact that people go through this kind of stuff just because they’re a little different. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“All we can do is learn to cope.” Damien chimes in.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Cope. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">People are exposed to literal torture and the only shred of hope they have is their ability to cope.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After group therapy there’s another free period before dinner. The period before dinner is longer than the one before lunch since they had just eaten before therapy. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Though, no one really ate much at lunch because they feared they wouldn’t be able to keep it down.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Despite the day of cruel treatments, Kyle finds himself smiling at how the couples in the boys’ dorm interact with each other. It makes him wonder how anyone could think it could ever be wrong when it’s so wholesome and heartwarming. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Clyde is sitting up, Kenny’s head resting in his lap. He cards his fingers through his hair. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Craig and Tweek are both sitting side by side on Craig’s bed, drawing in separate sketch pads. Every now and then they’ll glance at one another’s artwork and tell them ‘that’s so good, honey!’</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Damien decided to join Red and Bebe at the lake.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle reads a book he brought from home. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What’cha got there, Little Red?” Stan sits down at the foot of Kyle’s bed.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Sure, just invite yourself into my bed,” he chuckles. “But if you must know, Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What’s that about?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s about a girl who’s excommunicated by all her friends after she had a traumatic experience at a party and called the police.” He explains, flipping to the next page.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What happened at the party?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Buy your own copy and find out.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Or I could just borrow yours and save some money.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Or you could leave me alone and let me read?” Kyle teases.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re funny.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re irritating.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He hears a few snickers from the other boys in the room. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alright, that’s fair. Happy reading, Little Red.” He ruffles Kyle’s curls. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He feels his cheeks heat up a bit. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Stan announces that he’s gonna go see what Damien and the girls are doing at the lake, exiting the room. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">For dinner they’re given pasta casserole and garlic bread. Kyle thoroughly enjoys Pip’s cooking, and can’t help but notice during dinner that Damien thoroughly enjoys Pip.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His eyes follow him around when he comes in and out of the kitchen and the tint to his cheeks is obvious. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone nods enthusiastically when Pip pops in to ask if everything tastes good.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After dinner, everyone showers and changes and heads to bed. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle’s a bit restless, though. The events of today were just.. a lot. A lot to process.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He pulls the covers up to his chin. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">This sucks. And it must be way worse for everyone else because they actually <em>are</em> gay. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He rolls over onto his side and stares at the wall. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It’s like Craig said. They’re a family, and he’s part of that family now. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He wants to be there for his new family, especially when they’re being tortured like this.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I can’t stop thinking about that video of that military general saying that gays shouldn’t be able to enlist in the military because “never should we put America’s homosexuals in danger” and it’s every man in the military’s honor to lay down his life for America’s precious homosexuals. </p><p>Comments and kudos are much appreciated!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. The night breeze carries something sweet</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>There are depictions of conversion therapy in this chapter too, so be mindful shawtys! ❤️❤️</p>
<p>Leave a comment and tell me what you think ❤️</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle brushes his teeth, giggling at Kenny and Clyde who are chasing each other around the bathroom with wet towels.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Clyde eventually ends up cornering Kenny, ambushing him and hitting him with the towel. Kenny giggles uncontrollably, holding his hands up in defense. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Eventually it gets out of hand and Craig slings his own towel around Clyde’s neck, yanking it hard enough that he falls to the floor. Clyde makes a choking sound, whining when he hits the tile.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Craiiiig!!” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Serves you right!” Kenny crosses his arms.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Shut up. <em>Both of you</em>. Go put your clothes on.” Craig scoffs, heading back to the bedroom to tell everyone the showers are free. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kenny offers his hand to Clyde, pulling him up off the floor and pecking him on the lips.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle spits into the sink, rinsing his mouth out with water. He wipes his mouth with his towel.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">By the time he exits the bathroom, Kenny and Clyde are still play fighting.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He passes Damien and Tweek in the hallway on the way back to the room.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Damage control needed in the bathroom. Clyde and Kenny.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh god.” Tweek groans. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tweek and Damien turn to stare at each other. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Not it!” Damien sprints to the bathroom. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Not-! <em>God damn it!</em>” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle chuckles. Tweek is surprisingly fast, but a lot of his reactions are delayed. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle enters the room. Craig is towel drying his hair and Stan is wrapping his hygiene products in his towel.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Clyde and Kenny still in the showers?” Stan asks.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Nope. But they’re probably about to slip and break their skulls open if they don’t calm down.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Stan chuckles at that. “Those two are a really great couple, I won’t deny that. But.. if you put the two of them in a room together they need to be monitored very carefully.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Clyde and Kenny are both idiots, but when you put them together they’re one, bigger idiot.” Craig explains.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Stan hums in thought. “I wouldn’t necessarily call <em>Kenny</em> an idiot, but he’s definitely a fool.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Is that not the same?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He just shrugs in response. “Yeah, I guess.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle sits down on his bed, scrubbing his curls with the towel. “Must be nice over in the girls’ dorm. There’s only four of them and seven of us. They can all shower at the same time.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re probably right.” Craig picks up some of Tweek’s stuff that he had dropped on the floor.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Clyde and Kenny enter the room obnoxiously.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“They kicked us out.” Clyde announces.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah. Probably because they didn’t wanna babysit you while they were trying to shower.” Craig offers.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“As a matter of fact, <em>Tucker</em>. I never had a babysitter growing up. My parents said I didn’t need one!” Craig and Kenny flip one another off.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No wonder you’re like that. You were left without supervision for too long.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The boys snicker, Kenny shrugging. “You have a point.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Clyde asks Kenny if he can brush his hair, Kenny agreeing enthusiastically.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle may have only been here a few days, but he can tell that Clyde plays with Kenny’s hair a lot. Whenever he does he always has a small, relaxed smile on his face. It’s the moments when he’s calmest. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Watching Craig and Tweek or Wendall and Bebe or even Clyde and Kenny makes Kyle realize how strained he and Rebecca were. Rebecca never did little things for him like Craig and Tweek do for each other, and they never joked around and had fun together like Clyde and Kenny.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He frowns. Maybe he and Rebecca <em>were</em> unhealthy. Did he waste three years of his life? He always thought he and Rebecca were so perfect. He thought it was perfect enough to <em>marry</em> her.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You okay, Little Red?” Stan says, grabbing his stuff.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah.. yeah. I’m fine.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“If you say so.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Pip made omelettes for breakfast. Hardly anyone spoke because they were all busy scarfing down his cooking.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Today is Pip’s turn to lead the realignment therapy. Stan was right. It’s so much easier with Pip leading. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Gregory has them in the library today. He tells them about how, as an ‘ex-gay’, he was lost and confused when he was homosexual. He tells them that there’s a root to their homosexuality, or in simpler terms, a cause for why they started having gay thoughts. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Heterosexuality is the natural way of thinking,” he explains. “However, the few of you have been convinced that homosexuality is <em>also</em> natural and that there’s nothing wrong with you.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle shifts uncomfortably. Even if he’s not gay like everyone else, he doesn’t see how it’s particularly <em>wrong</em>. It’s pretty much the same as heterosexuality, right? </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We have both men and women for a reason, you see. It’s about balance, a woman is to handle cooking and cleaning while a man is to handle the hard work and earn money to provide for his family,” Gregory gestures with his hands. His movements are so fluid and legato. “A man and a woman can reproduce. A man can’t reproduce with a man and a woman can’t reproduce with a woman. That’s how you know that heterosexuality is right and homosexuality is wrong.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle furrows his eyebrows. The entire point of human existence isn’t reproduction. They aren’t animals. And even then, animals aren’t homophobic. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">And even with homosexuals, there’s still plenty of people who can have kids. It’s not like the world would die out. Is he also saying that men and women who can’t reproduce no matter their sex are also unnatural and wrong?</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">None of it makes any sense to Kyle, but it seems to make perfect sense to Estella and the counselors.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">If Kyle is really being honest, he’s pretty sure it’s all just an excuse to discriminate against people who are different. People loath what they don’t understand.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Gregory shows them examples of a man and a woman’s role in the household and how a man must stand over his wife and his wife must submit to him. He says that a man is in charge of the household.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle never thought like that, even if he <em>is</em> straight. He always wanted his wife to stand beside him, not behind him. And what about families where there’s not a mother or a father present? What then? Is a mother to just let her family fall victim to poverty? Is a man to just let his family starve and live like rats?</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">If anyone’s way of thinking is flawed, it’s theirs. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Not Stan’s or Kenny’s or Red’s or any of them!</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He grows more and more uncomfortable the longer Gregory speaks. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After psychoanalytic therapy is over, Kyle already feels a pit forming in his stomach as they make their way to the group therapy room, his shoulders tensing when he sees the chairs, projector and cart with all the medication. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone takes their seats, preparing for yet another nauseated nightmare. </span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Pip made spring rolls and white rice for lunch. Wendall thanks Pip vigorously and tells him it reminds them a lot of their mom’s cooking and they had been feeling homesick. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle dips his spring roll in the chili sauce. He wonders if Pip made that, too. It’s got just the right combination of sweet and spicy. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, Little Red.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He jumps at Stan’s hand clamping down on his shoulder. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’m still kinda.. sick from the therapy. You want my spring rolls?”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh no, I’m-“</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I’ll take em!” Before Stan can respond, Kenny is already leaning over the table and snatching the spring rolls right off his plate.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“C’mon, man. You know I always get the leftovers. When there is some, that is.” Kenny salutes Pip as he walks back into the kitchen, causing him to blush and smile nervously.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Well, I dunno Ken. I thought Kyle might want them this time.” He shrugs, lifting his glass of iced tea slightly before taking a large sip.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle chews on his nails. His cheeks feel warm. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He runs his fingers through his hair. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Before he can even think about it, Estella is waltzing into the groom, jade green heels clicking on the floor. She claps her hands obnoxiously.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Alright, everyone! It’s almost time for workshops and then group therapy, hurry it up now.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone finishes their lunch, tossing their forks down and carrying their plates to the counter so they can be washed and hurrying out the door so they don’t get yelled at.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle flips through the pages of his book, sitting cross legged on the picnic bench. Red and Heidi are sitting on top of the table, Heidi with Red’s hands in her lap and painting her nails. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">All the couples in the courtyard are currently being as subtle as they can due to Christophe hanging out in the yard.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Luckily, Estella encourages the girls to paint each other’s nails. Just as she exposes the boys to masculinity, she does the same with the girls and Wendall with femininity. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">With the boys though, it’s a bit harder. It’s easy to excuse girls being girls, but with the boys.. it’s not so easy. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kenny and Clyde are currently sitting cross legged in the grass, rolling a ball back and forth between each other. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kenny will roll the ball to Clyde and then subtly sign something with his hands. Clyde will repeat the motion, signing something back.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle doesn’t know ASL other than the alphabet and basic phrases he learned in kindergarten, but he’s able to make out the <em>‘I love you’</em> signed between the two of them. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It makes his chest both fill with warmth and ache at the same time. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kenny and Clyde share sad smiles, Kenny shifting and extending one leg and pressing it lightly against Clyde’s knee.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Red gazes longingly at Heidi, whose tongue is poking out of her lips as she concentrates on Red’s nails. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After their free period is over, everyone heads over to meet back up in the dining hall for dinner.</span>
</p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p2"> </p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The second everyone gets back to the dorm, the guys slam the door shut.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Curtains?” Damien asks.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kenny nods frantically. Damien yanks the curtains shut and the second they’re closed, Kenny tugs Clyde into a long, firm kiss, Clyde throwing his arms around Kenny’s waist. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle turns to Stan for an explanation. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Affection is both Clyde and Ken’s love language,” he whispers. “They’re both super touch starved. Kenny’s parents weren’t exactly.. affectionate, and Clyde’s mom died when he was young so he never had that kind of loving, physical touch.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh..” That pain in Kyle’s chest returns as he turns back to the two of them, Clyde with his face buried in Kenny’s shoulder.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Is it.. difficult? Being in a relationship in the camp?” Kyle asks.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Craig nods. “It’s hard being in a gay relationship everywhere. But.. it’s even harder when your every move is being monitored to make sure you’re <em>not</em> being gay.” Tweek rubs his shoulders.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Especially for Clyde,” Kenny flops down on one of the beds, taking Clyde with him. “He’s a big crybaby.” He presses a few kisses to his forehead.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Clyde removes his face from Kenny’s chest, wiping his eyes. “Estella doesn’t let the boys cry.” </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“That’s awful..” Kyle frowns.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Lemonade, man.” Stan pats him on the back. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After a few beats of silence, Tweek jumps up from the bed. “I call first shower!” He scrambles to grab hygiene products and a towel, some of which might have been Craig’s.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He dashes out the door, cackling wildly at the thought of finally being first. His outburst causes a chain reaction in the boys, all of them jumping up. They push and shove, crawling over each other to be the next out the door. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">In the end, the winners end up being Tweek, Damien, Stan and Kenny.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After everyone is clean and dressed, Kyle finds himself thinking again. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone he’s met here are such good people. Everyone cares about each other in ways Kyle couldn’t even imagine because they all have shared trauma. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Each day he spends here, his thoughts on the camp just get worse. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kenny and Clyde exchange several goodnight kisses before bed. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Craig snatches Tweek up off the floor, Tweek kicking his legs. “Craig, you asshole!”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He all but tosses him into his bed, Tweek flipping him off the second he’s stabilized.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Craig grips his face in his hands, tugging him forward and kissing him, drawing it out and pulling away with an exaggerated ‘<em>muah!</em>’ </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It makes Kyle sick that all these sweet couples have to hide who they are. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Stan cuts the lights, carefully jogging over to his bed but not before ruffling Kyle’s hair. Or more like.. scrubbing his hand against his face and dragging his fingers messily through his hair due to the fact that it’s dark. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle feels himself blush all the same.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He lays down, shifting to get comfortable.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He rubs his cheek, feeling how warm it is.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He turns to Stan, who’s situating himself. </span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">They make eye contact in the dark of the room.</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Night, Little Red.”</span>
</p>
<p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, Goodnight.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you’re having a good time 🚴♂️<br/>Leave a comment and let me know you like it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Toss your dirty shoes in my washing machine heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry this one was a bit late 😳<br/>I struggled a bit 😡 it’s honestly just a filler chapter though</p><p>Comment and let me know what you think ❤️</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">After his first long week at Havisham, Kyle makes it to Saturday. They get the day off on Saturdays and Sundays. Breakfast is at noon instead of early in the morning. Kyle’s looking forward to sleeping in. He sighs happily, turning his face into the pillow. The silence is so peaceful. </span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Unfortunately for Kyle, he forgot that he was in fact sharing a room with six other teenage boys. They’re all already conditioned to waking up early, so they automatically are just wide awake. Six <em>loud</em>, teenage boys with nothing to do before breakfast except hang out in the room. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He wakes up to a loud shriek and a chorus of laughter. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle groans, covering his ears with the pillow. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There’s a loud <em>thud! </em></span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He tries his best to ignore everyone, but he’s not even sleepy anymore. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He sits up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. The first thing he sees is.. unexpected, but after spending a week with these boys, not entirely surprising.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tweek has Damien pinned face first to the floor with his arm bent uncomfortably behind his back.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“<em>Fuck!</em> I’m sorry!” Damien groans in pain when Tweek twists his arm further. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle blinks.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Maybe the weekend won’t be so relaxing after all.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">At breakfast, the girls and Wendall arrive looking well rested.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle, however. Not so much. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The buttermilk and lemon pancakes do help wake him up a little bit, though.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You good, Little Red?” Stan taps him on the arm.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No. I’m fuckin tired. You guys are obnoxious.” He scoffs.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You’re not lying. You finish that book, yet?” He says through a mouthful of pancakes and whipped cream.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Not yet. Why?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Figured you’d change your mind about letting me borrow it.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Check back in two to three business days.” He rolls his eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Stanley, quit acting like you read.” Craig says, chewing on his fork.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey! I happen to be a fan of good literature, <em>Craig</em>.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tweek chimes in, chewing a mouthful of Craig’s pancakes even though he has his own. “More like you’re a fan of red curly hair, green eyes and freckles.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle feels his cheeks flare. Everyone laughs, Clyde choking on a raspberry and Kenny patting his back. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“If good literature happens to have those attributes, then.. hell yeah.” Stan grins, winking at Kyle.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He laughs nervously, stomach suddenly feeling warm.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone quiets down when Pip walks back into the room.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Is everything good?” He wrings his hands together. “I tried something different but I don’t know if I-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He’s cut off by a loud applause, Kenny and Clyde going the extra mile with whistling and chanting. Everyone likes to make Pip feel good about himself. Especially Damien.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He covers his cheeks with his hands, blush spreading across his face. “I’m glad you’re enjoying it!” He stutters.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey, Kyle!” Bebe signals once Pip is gone. “Everyone goes down to the lake after breakfast on the weekends. You wanna come?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Uh.. I don’t know.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“C’mon, Kyle. All the <em>cool</em> kids are doin’ it.” Red teases.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, dude. Don’t you wanna be popular?” Tweek adds.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Straight after breakfast? Who swims straight after breakfast?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Homosexuals.” Kenny says without skipping a beat, causing everyone to laugh. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You guys have fun, then.” Kyle giggles.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We’d have more fun if you’d join us, Little Red.” Stan says. His tone is the same as usual except for one small difference that probably went unnoticeable to everyone else. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">It sounded like sincerity.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The heat returns to Kyle’s cheeks. “Yeah, maybe..” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Good enough for me.” Stan beams, tousling his curls.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle stands on the dock, shaking his head as everyone beckons him to get in the water. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It’s lake water! What if I get AIDS?” He chews his nails.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You won’t get AIDS!” Clyde reassures him. He turns to Kenny, whispering under his breath. “<em>Right?</em> No AIDS?” Kenny shrugs. “You won’t get AIDS!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The water is nice, Kyle! It’s been so hot recently.” Heidi tries her best at persuading him. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I don’t know..” he rubs his arm. “It’s just.. I’ve only ever swam in pool water. I’ve never even been to the beach! It just sounds so.. dirty! I don’t wanna risk getting an infection in my <em>dick</em> because of you gu-“ he realizes that everyone has gone silent and is watching him closely. “What?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He feels hands on his back, he jolts and attempts to turn around, but it’s too late. He’s being shoved off the dock and into the lake.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">There’s a muffled splash behind him, arms wrapping firmly around his waist and pulling him up above the water. He sputters, coughing.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Jesus, it’s cold! What the fuck!” He turns to see who his attacker was, meeting Stan’s amused face.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Everyone cackles and he scowls at them for laughing. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“You okay, Little Red?” Stan asks. “I couldn’t resist.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No! I’m freezing!” He turns over his shoulder. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Their noses touch and his eyes widen. It’s then that he realizes Stan’s arms are still secured around his waist. He can hear everyone laughing with one another, but all he can really focus on is Stan. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kyle?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yuh-huh?” He blinks.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hold your breath.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Wh-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Stan plugs Kyle’s nose, tugging him back under the water. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Once they’re completely submerged in lake water, Stan slowly lets go of Kyle’s nose, grinning playfully.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">His raven hair splays out in the water, flowing around his face. His smile softens and his hand moves to Kyle’s hair. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He feels his lungs starting to burn, but he finds that he doesn’t quite wanna come up for air just yet, if only to look at Stan like this a little longer. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Unfortunately, Stan ends up coming up for air so he follows suit. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What’d you two do, recite Estella’s entire collection of straight people erotica under there?” Damien jokes.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“C’mon, man. We all know what they were doin’.” Tweek giggles.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle starts to feel his stomach churn. He felt stronger feelings from looking at Stan-looking at a <em>boy</em>-than he did from spending time with his own girlfriend. He’s probably just getting confused because he’s spending so much time around same sex couples. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He runs his fingers through his wet curls. He loves Rebecca. She’s his <em>girlfriend</em>. He likes <em>girls</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Hey.. it’s kinda cold. I think I’m just gonna head back to the dorm until lunch.”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Aww, really? You want me to walk with you?” Bebe offers.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, thanks. You guys stay. Have fun.” He swims over to the dock, pulling himself up.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He doesn’t look over his shoulder because he can’t bring himself to look at Stan. He might get confused again. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He trudges back to the dorm, drying himself off and putting his clothes on. He’s just confused, is all.</span>
</p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p2"> </p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Since it’s the weekend, the guys stay up in the dorm living room for a bit before bed. They pretty much do the same stuff they do in the room, except it’s different this time because they’re in the living room. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So all I’m saying is, a swarm of bees equivalent to Hulk’s mass would definitely win in a fight against him!” Kenny argues.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“No, dude!” His boyfriend retorts. “Hulk just grows in size when he gets angry!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah, but that means the bee swarm would grow too. They have to be equivalent to his size or else it’s unfair!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Y-“ Clyde pauses. “Your theory is bullshit and I’ll prove it!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I didn’t say <em>when</em> I’d prove it. I just said I would!”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Whatever, Clyde. I’m right and you know it.” Kenny pinches his cheek and he whines in frustration.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“The real question is, who would win in a fight between Angelica from the Rugrats and that one bitch with the unibrow from Hey Arnold.” Tweek says.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Are you kidding?” Damien scoffs. “Helga was all bark and no bite. Angelica could ruin your whole life!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Bull <em>shit!</em>” Tweek scoffs.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“How is that bullshit?” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“It just is!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“If you think about it, though, honey. Angelica was raised by Charlotte C. Pickles. She’s got a badass feminist for a mom and she was hella manipulative.” Craig shrugs. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Tweek squawks, mouth opening and closing. “Craig! You’re supposed to be on my side!” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Kenny and Clyde were on opposing sides.” He shrugs.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“But-! Whatever. I’m done with this conversation!” He huffs.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We should be getting to bed anyway. It’s late and you get cranky.” Craig stands, offering his hand to Tweek.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I do not!” He retorts, but takes his hand anyway.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We should go, too. Papa Kenny needs his sleep.” Kenny stretches his arms over his head.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Never refer to yourself as ‘Papa Kenny’ ever again.” Clyde huffs.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kenny chuckles, linking his arm with Clyde’s. The two of them follow Tweek and Craig to the room.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Shortly after, Damien follows them, leaving Kyle and Stan alone.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Guess it’s just you and me, Red.” Stan says.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Guess so..” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“We should debate something too.” He offers, jokingly.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh, yeah? Like what?” Kyle chuckles.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Like whether or not you should lend me that book.” </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“What is your obsession with reading it anyway?” Kyle asks.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Stan shrugs. “It’s something you’re interested in. I want something to bond over with you.” He turns to look Kyle in the eye.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Why?”</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“So we can be closer..” he whispers. “You know, since you’re new here and all..” his eyes flicker down to Kyle’s lips. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Yeah.. since I’m new here and all..” they meet each other’s eyes.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Stan licks his lips. There’s an unmistakable tint to his cheeks.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">That’s when it happens.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Something Kyle had been waiting to happen for years...</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1"><em>Just with someone else</em>.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The tingle in his stomach.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">The itch.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“I should go to bed.” He says in a hurry.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Oh.. goodn-“</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">“Night.” He stands from the couch quickly, rushing toward the room and leaving Stan alone.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">For probably the millionth time ever, Kyle chickened out of his first kiss, but for different reasons. His eyes widen.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">What is he thinking? That wasn’t.. they weren’t gonna <em>kiss</em> each other. <em>Were they?</em> </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">No. No. This isn’t happening.</span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">Kyle did not just have a moment that was meant for Rebecca with a guy. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <span class="s1">He lays down in bed, pulling the covers up to his chin. </span>
</p><p class="p1">
  <em>
    <span class="s1">“..fuck.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I made vegetarian wontons today. I’ve never made wontons before but FUCKKK they were so good!?!?!?! </p><p>Chef 🐛</p><p>Follow me on Instagram ! &gt;@Lemmy.C0re&lt;<br/>Leave a comment and let me know what you think</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. If you need to be mean, be mean to me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Whoops! <br/>It’s back :)<br/>Happy Lupercalia</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Gregory moves all the chairs in the group therapy room from their circle into a line facing the wall. He lines up all the plastic cups on the cart, filling them with water and pills.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He feels a pang of guilt and remorse in his stomach, but pushes it down. These kids need this. They’re sick. He was sick too once, but now he’s all better thanks to his aunt and her treatment. He went through the same process as the campers and now he’s free from his illness. It no longer weighs on him like shackles to his wrists.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He heads to the door, swinging it open and pausing when he comes face to face with Christophe. A hot, sweaty Christophe with his hair messed up and his face flushed red from the heat. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">His jaw drops slightly, drool pooling in his mouth from being open for so long. Today was Christophe’s turn to lead realignment therapy, and as a result he’s panting heavily with sweat dripping down his face and biceps and his eyebrows furrowed and eyes half lidded with exhaustion...</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Hey..” he chokes out, subtly swiping the corner of his mouth with his thumb. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Christophe nods, looking him up and down. “Hey. I’m gonna hit the showers. Pip should be almost done with the guys in the library.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Gregory nods, swallowing thickly. He presses his back up against the wall, fingers curling against the surface in an attempt to grip onto something. Anything. “So.. what are you doing in here then?” All of Estella’s personal appliances are strictly off limits both to the campers and the counselors. That includes her bathroom. The counselors dorm building is set up pretty much the same as the boys’ and girls’, meaning they have their own showers to use. So if he were going to shower.. it definitely wouldn’t be in here.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He clears his throat, the sound causing Gregory’s stomach to heat up. It shouldn’t, but it does.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“I.. I don’t know..” he takes a step towards the blonde which causes him to push further back into the wall. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">The treatment worked. He’s cured. He’s straight. This is just a minor setback. They’re all addicts here. Temptation is a normal part of the healing process. This is a trial from his God which he will overcome just like his homosexuali-</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He squeezes his eyes shut when Christophe’s knuckles brush his cheek lightly.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He needs to put a stop to this. “Please don’t.” He whispers pathetically, though he doesn’t want to.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He opens one eye just in time to see the brunette have an internal freak out, yanking his hand back and clearing his throat once more. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Right. Right..” he nods, backing up and jumping when he hits the wall. “I’m gonna go.. take that shower.” He nods once more, hurrying off. Gregory might as well have been wielding a butcher knife and screaming bloody murder with how fast he fled the scene.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He exhales shakily, peeling himself off of the wall, brushing himself off and holding his chin high. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Just a minor setback.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Kyle is extra diligent during therapy come Monday. He can’t afford to be getting confused now. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Stan hasn’t spoken to him since Saturday. He assumes he’s trying to give him some space. Kyle tries to limit his interactions with everyone else, too. Spending so much time around gay couples and openly gay people is confusing him. He’s been snappy and irritable towards them, but it’s better this way.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">His stomach feels like it’s gonna implode. His feet dig into the ground in an attempt to distract himself from the pain and discomfort. Wendall, Stan, Tweek and himself are sitting in the library in silence trying to wait out the effects of the meds.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He wanted to be alone, but it appears that everyone is scattered today. It’d be quite hard to find some space to himself.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Tweek has one eye screwed shut, the other half lidded. He’s sitting on the carpet stacking a pile of books in color spectrum order and building a tower to see how tall he can make it, but paused to clutch onto his stomach. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Hey, Kyle-“</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“What.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Tweek’s eyes widen a bit. He picks up one of the books, opening and closing it over and over. “I was just gonna ask if you would come with me to get a glass of water..” he mumbles.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Go get it yourself.” He scoffs. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Everyone turns to look at him, eyebrows raised in shock. Wendall stands from the arm chair they were sitting in.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Come on, Tweek. I’ll go with you.” They pull Tweek up from the ground, placing a hand on his back and leading him out of the library, all the while glaring Kyle down with a look of confusion and slight disapproval.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Stan frowns at him, but doesn’t say anything further. </span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Kyle doesn’t snap at anyone during lunch since he avoided eye contact and didn’t speak to anyone. The next instance however, occurs during the free period before dinner. Kyle is trying to focus on his book instead of everyone around him, which is made harder when a delicate hand is placed on his shoulder. He turns to look at who’s touching him, raising an eyebrow at them.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Hey, can I sit with you?” Heidi asks, gesturing to the picnic bench.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Do what you want.” He deadpans, allowing her to slide in next to him.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Are-“ </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“I said you could sit here, not talk to me.”</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Heidi gasps quietly, swallowing before continuing. “I won’t be long. I just wanted to ask if you were okay? You seem off. You don’t have to talk about it if-“</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“How about you mind your business and quit psychoanalyzing me?” He slams his book shut, causing her to jump.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“What the fuck’s your problem, man?” Red snaps, standing up from her spot on the ground and coming to Heidi’s defense.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Heidi gets up from the bench, reaching up to lightly clutch Red’s shoulders. “No, it’s okay, Reddie. I shouldn’t have been so nosy.” She shrugs.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“But-!” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Red. It’s okay,” She says in a soothing tone, rubbing her arms. “Let’s go sit down.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Kyle rolls his eyes, opening his book back up and trying to find his page.</span>
</p><p class="p3"> </p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">And finally, the last occurrence of the day.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Kyle, Craig and Damien have just gotten out of the shower and are brushing their teeth. He focuses on the sink and his hands, trying not to look at either of them. He doesn’t need to be getting any more confused than he already is.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Hey, Kyle can-“ Craig’s hand just barely grazes Kyle’s shoulder before he’s turning around abruptly.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“<em>Don’t fucking touch me, man!”</em> He snaps.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Craig flinches, holding his arms up in front of his face. The room is silent and still for a few seconds, maybe even a minute, until the noirette drops his arms and clears his throat, shouldering past Kyle and storming out of the bathroom. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Damien scowls at him, tugging his shirt on and slamming the bathroom door behind him. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Kyle trudges back to the bedroom, freezing in place when Stan swings the door open before he can even touch the doorknob. He’s met with a frowning face. Stan places a hand on his shoulder, shutting the bedroom door and tugging him into the living room. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“What the fuck are you doing?” Kyle growls, attempting to pull away from Stan.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“We need to talk.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“There’s nothing t-“</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“You know damn well that there is, Kyle.” Stan says sternly.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">It isn’t often that Stan uses his actual name, and especially not in that tone. He looks really fucking upset. Kyle swallows nervously.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Damien told us you snapped at Craig.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Kyle bites his lip, tugging at the bottom of his shirt. He feels like he’s gotten in trouble with his parents or something.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“You can’t fucking <em>do</em> that, dude. Especially not to him. Had you actually put your hands on him, he would’ve had a fucking panic attack.” Stan scowls, looking Kyle directly in the eye.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He curls his fingers into his shirt. He’s spent all day worrying about himself that he didn’t even think about how everyone else might feel with him being so mean to them. He feels.. guilty.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Look, I understand if I upset you on Saturday. I get it, okay?” Stan points to the bedroom door. “But you will <em>not</em> take it out on all of them. Do you understand?” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Kyle nods, wrapping his arms around himself and chewing the inside of his cheek.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Those kids have done nothing but welcome you since you got here. Even though you made it clear that you don’t belong here, and even though you haven’t been through the same struggles that everyone else has, they still accepted you as part of our family. There’s a chance you could narc on us, tell Estella what we all do behind her back, and they still trust you enough to be themselves around you. They don’t deserve your collateral damage,” he spits. “I don’t wanna act like I have any ounce of authority over you because I don’t, but they’re important to me. I care about you, dude. But I care about them just as much. I want you to apologize to all of them and in the morning I want you to apologize to the girls and Wendall. I can’t make you do anything, but just consider it.” He pulls Kyle into a short, quick hug before heading off to the bathroom to shower.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Kyle watches him go, the guilt bubbling over. He’s been doing exactly what everyone does to people like them. He’s been acting like homosexuality is a contagious disease that he’ll catch if he spends too much time around them. Kyle is acting like every other homophobic asshole. These people are his friends. He doesn’t know how he’ll forgive himself for doing that to them.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He hesitantly opens the door to the bedroom, everyone turning to look at him. He meets all of their eyes individually. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Damien is still scowling at him, Tweek has his hand on Craig’s back and a frown on his face. Clyde and Kenny both give him sad looks. Everyone except for Damien doesn’t look particularly mad, just disappointed, which.. is honestly worse.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“I-“ he chokes in the middle of it, but clears his throat and continues. “I’m so fucking sorry for how I treated you all.. I’ve been so wrapped up in my own head that I was selfish and cruel and none of you even knew why. I’m.. I don’t deserve your kindness or how welcoming you’ve been and yet you gave it to me anyway, and in return I gave you a bitchy attitude.. I hope you can forgive me.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Everyone is silent for a good few seconds before they all simultaneously jump up and wrap him into a large group hug. Even Damien.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">After everyone disperses, he meets Craig’s eyes. The guilt increases, swirling in his stomach and making him feel sick. He gasps when Craig wraps his arms around his shoulders, squeezing him tight. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He pulls away from their hug to look him in the eyes. “It’s okay, man. Don’t worry about it.” His smile is genuine. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Yeah, we aren’t angry,” Tweek beams at him. “Hell, I was probably even worse when I first got here.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Dude, and <em>Red?</em>” Clyde adds, causing all the guys to cringe and nod.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Everyone has stuff they’re going through and they react in different ways,” Kenny sits back down on his bed criss-cross. “It’s unfair for you to treat us like that, yes. But it’s also unfair for us to be mad about it. We’ve all had our fair share of pissy attitudes and bitchy moods. Except maybe Heidi, but we’d all be hypocrites to be angry with you for yours.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He lets out a breath of relief. They really aren’t mad at him. He deserves it, definitely. But even if he does deserve it, they’re still as kind as ever.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“And.. you did apologize. I don’t even apologize.” Damien shrugs, everyone chuckling.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">“Basically.. we aren’t mad. Just try not to take it out on us too badly.” Clyde gives him a kind smile.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He nods, smiling back at all of them. “Yeah.. I won’t. I’m still sorry though.” </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">Everyone shrugs it off and lets him know it’s okay once more.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">It makes him think for a minute. Rebecca was never this forgiving when he upset her. Maybe that’s why he was convinced they would all hate him even after how sweet they’ve been. He climbs into bed, situating himself. Once Stan gets back, he looks at Kyle with a questioning expression. He nods to let him know that he apologized and it went well. Stan smiles at him, turning off the lights and ruffling his hair before bed like he usually does. </span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">He’ll apologize to the girls and Wendall in the morning, but for now he’s left in the dark pondering.</span>
</p><p class="p2">
  <span class="s2">For the first time ever after three years of dating her, Kyle is questioning the stability of his relationship with Rebecca. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry for the wait!!!!<br/>Let me know what you think!<br/>Follow me on Instagram @Lemmy.c0re</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I practiced really hard for my audition for that performing arts school, but the day before it I had a huge panic attack and decided not to go through with it 🤩<br/>Anyway, I felt bad for leaving you all without content for so long, so here’s two chapters of something new for you.</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>